Well, any adult will eventually need to come to some type of service center in their life..whether it be for your satellite, television, car stereo or what have you..I happen to work at one that has and will work on just about anything..from televisions to old timey pinball machines. We are a reputable company and will treat you withthe utmost respect as long as you do the same, here are some tips and what-NOT-to-do’s when coming into an establishment like this.
The Internet Is Your Enemy
The worst thing you can say to me right off the break when bringing your equipment in here is, “Well, I looked online and it said THIS was wrong, so all I need done is THIS, nothing more!” That will then trigger me to think “Then why the fuck are you bringing it in here then?” And, DO NOT get pissy when what the tech finds, isn’t what your buddies online say the problem is..those words stated above are like a slap in the face to the techs, to me and to everyone here, which isn’t a good first impression to make..and if you’re such a wonderful researcher, why not just fix the piece of shit yourself, smart guy? The truth of the matter is, there’s no way for your online techs to know exactly what the problem is without getting inside of the unit..and I’ll get into that one later too.
“Yeah..Whats the status of my unit?”
Please, for Gods sake..have some fuckin’ manners before you call me man..when I answer the phone, DO NOT say (without stating your info) ”Whats the status of my TV/VCR/DVD/ETC” Because that’ll either get you conveniently hung up on..(just like you forgot to treat someone like a fucking human being, so did I) or get a real bitch answering back to you..I’m not a fuckin’ mind-reader..this is not a psychic on the other line..when I answer, state at least a hello, yeah, hi, hey bitch, any fucking greeting along with your name and what kind of unit it is..trust me when I say this, the price of ignorance is one that you do NOT wanna pay here.
“So there’s NO ONE here to help me lift this in?!”
When dropping off a unit that you need help with, please, please PLEASE CALL before coming!!!!! I’ve hurt my shoulder and back numerous times from lifting shit that was too heavy for me and unlike some of those cot-damn liars that just don’t wanna lift, the pain effin kills me and 5x outta 10 I CAN’T help you..I will do my best if you just have a small unit, even something fairly large, but if your shit is over 300lbs and you want help or if you just a prissy bitch who states that she just got her nails done and “you know how that goes, girl” fuck you..fuckkkk you..you’re shit outta luck..learn to pick that phone up and ASK if someone will be here, don’t assume. I’m usually here by myself a few days a week, the rest of the week, there’s a few men here to help you out, but otherwise- if/when you catch me on an off day, don’t get pissy with me, it won’t be anyones fault but your own..so you can go cuss yourself out in your car, on your way back home to get some fuckin’ help.
“So There’s No Way For You To Tell Me Over The Phone?????”
No, theres not. No way. At all. None. I will say the first time you ask (very nicely) that the tech will have to check the unit out and get inside of it before he can tell you what’s wrong with it..after the 5th time however, your ass will need to find some place else to go. You’re not gonna call a mechanic and say “My car is making a noise, what’s wrong with it?” And demand an answer, they’ll tell you to go fuck yourself after the first time..and these are the same muh-fuckas that bitch about an estimate fee..you know WHY we charge an estimate fee now, unlike a few years ago when no fee was due up-front? Because the tech loses money by spending countless hours on equipment that no one has paid for and we really lose a profit when that customer declines any estimate and never picks up their unit..it’s all business..and chances are, if you can’t afford a 20.00 estimate fee up-front on a 1,000.00+ piece of equipment, then you’re business is not needed.
“I’m reporting you to the better business bureau!!!!”
Feel free. Knock yourself out. Matter of fact, let me dial them for you. This is fair-warning: I have a position here where if you’re an asshole, I can be one right back, without fear of losing my job..scary, ain’t it? There’s no ass kissing here bitch. This ain’t Best Buy, where your job depends on your customer service to ungrateful, spoiled, grown ass, “I’m above you” assholes..just because I’m providing service for you, in no way means “I’m below you good sir..so feel free to just spit on me and call me your bitch” It means I’m here to provide you with service you need and help you to the best of my ability, if you’re offended because I’m not kissing your ass because your husband owns a car dealership or because you walked into my store with a bitchy, self-deserving attitude and you got treated with the same attitude, please..feel free to call the better business bureau..and tell them Jenifer didn’t kiss your big fat over-privileged ass like Target did.
“Wassup ma…*wink* you gonna help me out wit that?”
Look, fellas..I’m flattered when you try to get my phone number, to a woman that’s been in a relationship for over 4yrs, it’s really refreshing..but don’t think just because you tried to talk to me, or because you call me sexy/beautiful/etc that you ain’t getting charged. I’m at work, I charge YOU for OUR services..no ticky…no laundry. These are the same men that say they’ll take me out, take me shopping, treat me right BLAH BLAH BLAH- then a few days later, they’re bitchin’ because 150.00 is too much to fix their TV..not that I’m knockin’ that at all, but don’t front like you got bank..because I know..I always know..
When I Say I Will Call You, I Will Call You
The question I get asked most: how long will it take? Well, I answer that question with complete honesty and I give you a ball-park timeframe, if you aren’t satisfied with that, you’re more than welcome to go find that perfect service center that has NO other customers and waits to serve you and only you..I’m sure they’ll get you an estimate within minutes of you even pulling up..but for now, I told you how long it will be, and I also said at least twice that I WILL CALL YOU once we have any new info on your unit. It won’t help you at all calling later that night, the next day, the day after because there are a few in this line of work who say to the tech ”He didn’t listen, so go ahead and get to it when you get to it homie” Impatience will only get yourself all riled up in the long run..you’re ruffling your own feathers..not us..we gave you a time-frame, so wait your turn you impatient bastard.
“Yeah, I Spoke To A Woman And She Told Me The Complete Opposite!”
Don’t lie to me homie..don’t do it. You wanna know how I know you’re lying? Because I’m the only female who works here, that’s how. In a business like this there aren’t many employees, there are enough, but not many..and we speak to each other often..so when you lie and say “well a woman told me this!!” To me, when I know I didn’t say it..you make yourself look like a huge ass-clown and from there on out, you’re a fuckin’ joke whenever you come in..just know that the employees in this building speak often and it ain’t hard for me to ask other employees if they said this or that to you..so don’t make yourself look like a prick and lie about some dumb shit..
Well, that’s all for now folks..please stick to these guidelines and you’ll have a nice time at your local service center..lol..
-Ciao 
